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The
Joy of Receiving
by Martin Brossman
Often the greatest gift we can give
to another person is allowing them to contribute to us.
Many
of us who do volunteer work, talk about experiencing the joy
of giving but often we don't mention the joy of receiving or
allowing another to contribute to us. In changing
and difficult times, when we may seem overwhelmed, the joy of
receiving is an important point to remember. I would like to
give an example of how I was reminded of this recently, the
occasion was my volunteering with the Carolina Health and
Humor's Laugh Mobile on the Cancer Ward at Duke University
Medical Center in Durham, NC.
The Laugh Mobile is a program for therapeutic humor and
involves a library cart bringing humorous media and cheer to
patients. I often wear a clown nose and a dual propeller hat
when I volunteer. I knocked on the door to a patient's room,
and went in introducing myself as a silly person. She said
you are a cutie! She was a woman about 60 years old, with
only splotches of hair left. I then told her about the Laugh
Mobile, and showed her a sticker that read URAQT, asking her
if she knew what it meant. She didn't and I said, "it says,
you are a cutie" and I stuck it on her bedpost. She smiled,
and said she could not read because of the chemotherapy
therapy and was not feeling good enough to listen to tapes.
I got her a squeeze ball off the Laugh Mobile cart and told
her when she squeezes it to say, "every day and every way I
get better and better." As she did it tears started running
down her face, I helped her along and we said it together. She
continued to cry, smiling at the same time. She looked at me
with these child like eyes and said, "my husband is here also,
I don't know where he is, his brother usually would bring him
around. He (the brother) was diagnosed with cancer also." Then
she paused and looked deep at me through her tears and said,
"what's going on?" I did not know what to say and then
answered, "I don't know and I am sorry this has happened". I
sat down and let her talk a bit, then gave her a humor tune-up
(one of our humor therapeutic interventions) she laughed and
laughed. Then, asked if I would bring the laugh mobile to her
husband. "Please come back any time, its wonderful what you
do, is their anything I can do to help?" I thought a moment
and said, "your letting me come in and contribute to you is a
real gift and joy to me", She smiled and with new tears and
repeated "come back any time". It took a lot of control for me
to refrain from crying myself. While I did not find her
husband, after doing my rounds, I took another squeeze ball
back to her to give to her husband.
I realized the real gift was letting me contribute to her. How
many times do we let those around profoundly contribute to us?
It sometimes takes more courage to allow someone to contribute
to us than to "help" somebody. If you feel you are being
criticized or challenged I invite you stop for a moment. Allow
yourself to connect to an experience of joy and you may
discover that the criticism is just a miss-communicated or
understood desire to contribute to you. Or you may seem
overwhelmed with too many things changing at once and you feel
you just can't handle it. Maybe it is time to allow someone
the joy of contributing to you by asking for their
assistance. If they do assist you, be sure to acknowledge how
specifically useful the help was. Imagine a world of only
people giving to others with no one receiving; it seems almost
selfish doesn't it. The real joy is in participating in the
dance of giving and receiving.
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